FOUND TAPE: Hammer Time, Circa 2018

We were cleaning out the archives and stumbled on this long-lost recording of the original Hammer Time crew—captured back in what they confidently believed was the peak of civilization: 2018. In this unearthed gem, the gang predicts a smooth, thriving future in 2020 (lol), debates where the Midwest ends, and outlines foolproof get-rich plans involving land ownership and time travel.

You’ll also hear Gus plotting a world tour to meet “vacation chicks,” Brickey attempting to renew a passport without a personal check (spoiler: it’s a nightmare), and a heated argument about bumper sticker placement and why civilians shouldn’t be allowed to make design decisions.

It’s everything you love about Hammer Time—uninformed confidence, full-volume opinions, and a whole lot of yelling about snacks.